All Green Everything

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A quick Google search sealed the deal. 2013 was the year of the green.

This past year there were many catchy headlines to remind us that green was indeed the color of 2013. To be precise, the color of the year was Emerald. Pantone, the authority on this, made it perfectly clear last December.

By the time this news was delivered to the masses I already had my gown designer, Kathryn Conover, on a search for the perfect shade of green french lace and silk taffeta for my wedding gown. I didn’t make her job an easy one, and she was often reminded as she searched for the fabric that while it was hard to find at the time, it would soon be available everywhere. So yea, I’m excited that my dream color for my wedding gown turned out to be the color of the year. That’s cool and I’m inclined to give myself much more credit than I deserve. However, had green been voted the worst color of 2013, the absolute ‘don’t you dare wear it’ color of 2013, I still would have walked down in the aisle in my perfect green gown. Ladies, be who you are. This is not a straight or gay thing. I’m just certain that life is too short to do what everybody else says you should do.

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My parents still leave newspaper clippings on my bed in their house. Each time I arrive for a visit there are relevant articles in a pile on my comforter. Last year, any time they came across breaking news about the color of the year they left me the pages. Cuties.

Looks like the color of 2014 is Radiant Orchid … Hmm.

The real point of this post is that I’d like to know – Any of you ladies have a wedding dream that everyone raises their eyebrows at? 

Old Hollywood Glam, I am not.

There are some women who might look stunning in this gown, many women actually, but I am not one of them. What I loved about this gown was its old Hollywood glamour. I imagined this on a tall waif of a gal with a blonde bob. This dress hugged me in all the wrong places and my mother demanded I remove it.

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I did. But not before striking this ridiculous pose.

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Sadly this was never a contender, but it is still a lovely and elegant dress with an art deco flair, a gem for the right lady. This was also definitely too small for me, and pretty beat up. I know I’m lucky that I can be squeezed into a lot of these samples, but I had to ask: What happens when bigger women come in to try on dresses, as a lot of sample gowns just fit me. Ever the Bridal Consultant, she found a delicate way to tell me that they rip apart a lot of these dresses shoving women into them. Or they don’t get all the way into them. Finding a dress that I couldn’t even squeeze into certainly wouldn’t make me feel like a beautiful bride or make me want to spend thousands of dollars. Oh well.

I Repeat Myself.

A lot.

Ya know how I like to talk about how much fun it is to try on absolutely ridiculous couture wedding gowns? So I went on a very last-minute secret trip to try on wedding dresses with my friend Kate a few months ago. I tried on all sorts of crazy stuff, and the two of us got carried away. I mean we got swept up, big time, and it wasn’t until later, when we were having cocktails and talking it out that we both admitted that this dress, which we referred to as the “Swan Lake,” was totally inappropriate for me, for a few reasons. I am essentially getting married in the woods and I am not a bride who can stand still for very long. I will be eating, drinking, dancing, sitting down, bending over (I drop stuff) and throwing my arms all over the place … but just look at this dress.

The lovely lady working with me that afternoon brought this over to me, “fresh off the runway,” she told us, and she wasn’t lying because they had to stuff me into this thing! It had been altered to fit a girl who was probably my height but about 40 pounds thinner. The boob cups were a touch lopsided and my own breasts were somewhere else altogether but it did not even matter because I put this dress on twice and then stood in front of the mirror in the middle of the shop so that Kate and I could just stare at it. Honestly, I’ve never looked better. In a few years when I’m fat I am going to reach into the depths of my mind for the image of my body in this gown.

This dress is Mark Zunino and yes, the front is gorgeous:

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Both photos are property of Mark Zunino, featured on Bridal Guide.

… But just look at the back. Stunning.

MARK ZUNINO SS13 BRIDAL FASHION WEEK 10/17/2012

As you can see this is not me. If you’re going for a jaw-dropping gown and you think a woman’s back is as sexy as I do, then go put this thing on and you too will feel like you’re about to win a gold medal in figure skating at the next winter Olympics.

She Chose a Dress!!

I’m not allowed to know much of anything about The Dress, but I am told that this one was a major contender, until she tried on The Dress. She tells me that they all knew, including her, the moment she put it on. I cannot even wait to see her on September 7th.

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If she looks even half as good as she looks in this one, then I am definitely getting upstaged at our wedding, and I don’t even mind!!