There are some women who might look stunning in this gown, many women actually, but I am not one of them. What I loved about this gown was its old Hollywood glamour. I imagined this on a tall waif of a gal with a blonde bob. This dress hugged me in all the wrong places and my mother demanded I remove it.
I did. But not before striking this ridiculous pose.
Sadly this was never a contender, but it is still a lovely and elegant dress with an art deco flair, a gem for the right lady. This was also definitely too small for me, and pretty beat up. I know I’m lucky that I can be squeezed into a lot of these samples, but I had to ask: What happens when bigger women come in to try on dresses, as a lot of sample gowns just fit me. Ever the Bridal Consultant, she found a delicate way to tell me that they rip apart a lot of these dresses shoving women into them. Or they don’t get all the way into them. Finding a dress that I couldn’t even squeeze into certainly wouldn’t make me feel like a beautiful bride or make me want to spend thousands of dollars. Oh well.
Ya know how I like to talk about how much fun it is to try on absolutely ridiculous couture wedding gowns? So I went on a very last-minute secret trip to try on wedding dresses with my friend Kate a few months ago. I tried on all sorts of crazy stuff, and the two of us got carried away. I mean we got swept up, big time, and it wasn’t until later, when we were having cocktails and talking it out that we both admitted that this dress, which we referred to as the “Swan Lake,” was totally inappropriate for me, for a few reasons. I am essentially getting married in the woods and I am not a bride who can stand still for very long. I will be eating, drinking, dancing, sitting down, bending over (I drop stuff) and throwing my arms all over the place … but just look at this dress.
The lovely lady working with me that afternoon brought this over to me, “fresh off the runway,” she told us, and she wasn’t lying because they had to stuff me into this thing! It had been altered to fit a girl who was probably my height but about 40 pounds thinner. The boob cups were a touch lopsided and my own breasts were somewhere else altogether but it did not even matter because I put this dress on twice and then stood in front of the mirror in the middle of the shop so that Kate and I could just stare at it. Honestly, I’ve never looked better. In a few years when I’m fat I am going to reach into the depths of my mind for the image of my body in this gown.
This dress is Mark Zunino and yes, the front is gorgeous:
Both photos are property of Mark Zunino, featured on Bridal Guide.
… But just look at the back. Stunning.
As you can see this is not me. If you’re going for a jaw-dropping gown and you think a woman’s back is as sexy as I do, then go put this thing on and you too will feel like you’re about to win a gold medal in figure skating at the next winter Olympics.
Just ask my best friend from childhood what movie I always wanted to watch and you’ll know that I truly do believe, “Every girl’s a princess.” I’m a little biased now though … This dress is much like the Vera … Continue reading →
I’m not allowed to know much of anything about The Dress, but I am told that this one was a major contender, until she tried on The Dress. She tells me that they all knew, including her, the moment she put it on. I cannot even wait to see her on September 7th.
If she looks even half as good as she looks in this one, then I am definitely getting upstaged at our wedding, and I don’t even mind!!